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I actually bought Date Movie when it came out two years ago without having seen it yet. I watched it, and hated it so much. I went to Blockbuster a year ago and rented Epic Movie when I had seen every other new release. I watched it, and was actually angry when it was over. I saw the commercials for Meet the Spartans and cursed under my breath every time they played. I was at the theater and saw the first trailer for Disaster Movie and actually wanted to harm the filmmakers and the studio (20th Century Fox) behind the newest punch to audience’s groins across the country. I now present a letter to those who need a talking to:
Dear Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (the directors of all four movies),
I completely understand. You keep making these movies because they are cheap to produce, and bring in big revenue. If the studio keeps hiring you and asking you to do the same thing, you make easy money. That being said, you should feel lucky that it is illegal to assassinate people. I would so be coming for you if I could. With a gun.
Dear 20th Century Fox,
Don’t you think your money would be better spent as a charity donation? A fundraiser for muscular dystrophy? A spoof movie with competent filmmakers? You have to understand how terrible these movies are. You make me sad.
Dear American Audiences,
You are the worst. STOP GOING, and these movies will STOP BEING MADE. Disaster Movie is being advertised as “From the guys who brought you Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans.” If you have seen either of those films, why in the hell would you go to this one? Anyone who sees these movies and thinks they are funny is a terrorist. An entertainment terrorist. Yes audiences across the country, you are terrorists. You are subjecting mass society to something they don’t want, and you are taking money away from potential good causes so that your terrorist activity (said movies) may continue.
Disaster Movie comes out on August 29th. Remember, if you go you are a terrorist.
Love,
Andy
PS ... STOP. Seriously.
Oh, one more thing ... STOP.
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Last post: Aug. 27, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Kzmet (unregistered user) said on Aug. 21, 2008 at 4:41 pm:
Thank you for saying what needed to be said. I also have watched some of those shows.....that is about 90 minutes (per movie) of my life that I will never get back.
It's like watching a train wreck though....you just can't....you know....look away.
Nikki (Nikki Blight) said on Aug. 25, 2008 at 10:59 am:
Luckily I skipped Date Movie and Epic Movie, but I was unfortunate enough to sit through Meet the Spartans. There is a point where stupidity for the sake of stupidity is actually very entertaining... but it's far too easy to cross the line, and spoof movies lately are so far over that line that they're nearly unwatchable.
Jeff Brandt (Jeff Brandt) said on Aug. 25, 2008 at 6:55 pm:
I'd say a good example of stupidity for stupidity's sake was Beerfest. It was dumb as hell, but it knew it was dumb as hell, and that was part of the comedy. A good example of that to me is when the fat guy on the team died randomly and then was replaced by a relative (and the same actor) and asked for them to pretend he's the exact same guy.
Can't say I've seen even a minute of any of these movies other than Date Movie, which was more than enough for me to know I didn't need to see these spoofs.
Katharine O'Brian (Katharine O'Brian) said on Aug. 27, 2008 at 8:32 pm:
Date Movie was the last one I bothered trying to sit through. Parts of it were funny, others not so much. I don't really understand why people keep going, either, but they do.
Jeff Brandt (Jeff Brandt) said on Aug. 21, 2008 at 1:10 pm:
Nice work, sir. I LOL'ed.